So I havent written in forever.  If I were to try and tell you everything thats gone on in the past year we would all be here a very long time.  So let's just say that raising 4 sons is much more "energy absorbing" that I would have ever imagined. 

I truly believed as they all got older that for the most part things would begin to fall into place.  However, I find myself in this strange world of worry and frustration with an occasional "driveby" of brilliance and and relief.  I find myself wanting to chase after that "driveby car full of brilliance" thinking to myself that surely my sweet inquisitive children have been taken hostage by the person driving that  car.

Anyway.... All I can say is that I want SO much for my sons ... and I know that I am not doing them any favors by continuing to do things for them.  So I sit and watch them stumble and it tears at my insides so badly that sometimes I lash out at them (and alot of times rightly so) when I really just need to let them figure it out on their own.  I'm coming to realize that when you mess up ... you are really hoping that no one is looking or if they are looking they dont rub your nose in the "mess you've made".

So I will sit here .... Hoping that they might actually come ask for help if they need it.  But children (quasi-young adults)  arent very good at asking for help .... :::sigh:::

see you in a year .... or maybe sooner ....